I wrote something! Its been so long, I wondered if I remembered how...
Rewind.
I haven't written anything since... last year?
And by "anything" I mean anything other than paragraphs saying "what the hell am I doing? I need to change my life."
And then I ... did something for myself, something hard for me to do, and something that I was afraid of. Something that I don't really want to go into, but suffice it to say that I took on a dragon.
Anyway, in the overflow from the epic battle, I have been doing a little bit better.
I have gotten some sleep, and am closer to back on top of it all. I should clarify that I didn't kill the dragon, I didn't really even make it go away. I just stopped it from eating me. But in all honesty, I am feeling pretty damn good about that.
Anyway, so then, cause I wasn't eaten and all, I managed to open a door.
In real terms, I got back to communicating with someone very important to me. And that was really empowering. So then I got really, really brave, and I shared one of my songs.
Did you know I write songs? I don't really tell people that... I have such issues around my singing voice, when I was young my sister hated me singing (whether this is because of my voice, or because she is my sister is an issue hotly debated). Now I don't sing in public very often, and given that I can't WRITE music, it only exists in my head... if I told people that I wrote songs, then they might want to hear them.
And then I found a book I have written up songs I wrote in. And then yesterday, I sat down and actually wrote something! Not a song, but my first something for about a year. Lets continue to clarify, I am not saying its any GOOD, but that it exists is huge for me. So I thought I would share it, because then not only would I know that it happened, but I can revisit it happening later.
There were paths etched out in moonlight through the branches
And we hesitated, suddenly in doubt;
For which path would lead us safe into the sunlight,
And taking one, on what might we miss out?
Then bravely did we set our feet to wander
By different paths. And what I'll always rue:
I took a path that led into the daytime,
And not a path that led me back to you.
- Dischord
