Have you noticed that sliced banana is nicer than whole banana?
So I started this post cause I wanted to tell you about this thing that I have fallen into. My dear friend togiren got me involved with this group of people, paid for my membership because she is aware that I am a poor student and thinks it could be good for me. It's called SpecFicNZ and the concept is that is a group of New Zealand writers who write in the area of speculative fiction, the 'what if' genres, fantasy, horror, science fiction etc and support each other and give advice through writing, rewriting, editing, publishing, and kind of mentoring. They do novels, short stories, even poetry. Which got me to think about genre, and that my poetry doesn't really fit into the specfic category... actually what got me thinking about it is that they run competitions and list for submissions for publications and togiren suggested I should submit to one and I really thought about it (whilst writing assignments etc so I didn't have time to actually write anything and was thinking if I had anything that qualified). I guess when I think of specfic poetry the only works that come to mind is la belle dame sans merci and the fairy folk... But, I kind of think I want to get into it, if I can come up with something that doesn't sound ridiculous and artificial. Because I would really like to be part of a community that is about writing... maybe I could make it into something I didn't do by myself and keep to myself and maybe I could find some self improvement, and some ways to improve my writing too, and maybe I could be part of something that I could be excited about. A real life hobby, that involves real life people. And I like these people, they are wonderful, and supportive, and I actually talked to HELEN LOWE! Who wrote this book that I LOVE called The Heir of Night... and I actually got fan-girl, and she was SO lovely, and SO helpful, and SO awesome... I think I really want this, and so I am terrified of both making it happen and also not making it happen, and really worried that I can't cut it in the genre regardless of how badly I want to.
I also think that I stress too much and over-think too much and get down too much and that maybe I should seek some kind of professional help for that... But what if they don't just laugh it off and say "you are fine". What if they say "yeah, you have a problem"? I don't want to have an actual problem, it is too much to worry about.
I will think about Specfic instead... maybe I should try to write something??
