assorted thoughts.

She looked at him, her deep eyes darkened by hurt and betrayal, and he could not stand the unspoken accusation carried in her injured gaze. But perhaps worse still that she might give voice to the hidden, bleeding wounds he had so carelessly inflicted upon her. He stood mute, as did she, the moment stretching to years between them. With the shift of the world they moved on, two immortals become strangers in a web of silence.

Ways (make that A way, way in the singular) to annoy me.
- Taking a contrary position when I assert that I am or may be unable to attend a social arrangement. For sure "I really would like you to attend" or "I will be disappointed if you can't make it". But "You have to come!"... NO, I don't. I really don't. No force can compel me. And whilst you might prefer that I prioritize you over my future, and you might think to yourself "it is only one event", that isn't how it frakking works. I realise that I am generally compliant and compromising, and you might think that pushing your agenda will "make me realise it is REALLY important to you" and perhaps it is, perhaps it is a highly significant to you, but what your attitude actually says to me is that you don't give a damn about me or my life/obligations/responsibilities/commitments. I have things going on, and no, you aren't so special and important and fluffy that I am going to place your desires ahead of my needs. You know that what I am doing right now is important, and short term, and I am sorry if I can't make your events during this time, but I have to prioritize this and I have to do it now, and I'll make an effort some other time when I am not in the middle of my one opportunity to get this right. It isn't like this is the only time you have, your event could be some other time... perhaps that would inconvenience you or not suit your pretty picture of the world but if it was that bloody important to you then you could try to plan around me or put it off... or you can do it without me. I have deadlines, and I have time constraints. Don't be so gorram selfish, if I say no it is because I have a damn good reason, and I expect you to respect it or you can frak off. In the same situation reversed you wouldn't hesitate to say no to me. So here. NO, NONONONONONONONO. I am not going, and I don't care if you break your heart. So frakking there.

You know what bugs me about the song "Whiskey in the jar." Why would you keep whiskey in a jar? And to be honest, if there WAS whiskey in said jar, a few minutes later there wouldn't be, so the song should actually go "there was whiskey in the jar, but then I drank it, now I have a jar... maybe I will make some marmalade or something."

I need a drink, or five.
I don't sleep these days.

I consider you a stranger now.

There’s loneliness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now
It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

Grey Street, Dave Matthews Band