If wishes were teardrops we would all drown, but there would be no more water shortages.
To someone who does not remember I exist.
I wish that I had done things differently.
I wish that I had spoken instead of waiting.
You would have had the oppertunity to understand me a little better. I don't think the way other people do, you didn't need to worry or put in extra work. The things you feared were not an issue for me.
I had fun. I didn't want anything more from you.
There might still be a space between us but at least it wouldn't be filled with the words that I wish I had said to you but never did.
I have never been a person who wastes time on idle regrets, but if I had a chance to change something, this would be it.
Because I liked you, cared about you, did not want to lose you.
Never wanted this Silence laden with distance and the soft sounds of people who tiptoe around one another.
Your friendship meant a lot to me.
I will probably keep trying to be friends with you. I am sorry if that pains you. But that was all I ever wanted.
I am hopeing that when enough time has passed, you will forget the awkwardness, and that we can rebuild. Because I never had that awkwardness. That is what I should have told you. It didn't mean to me what you thought it did.
6 comments:
how do i transform into you? I don't think it is possible no matter what advan ces in technology we get...
/sigh
Why would you want to be me?
It does not look as easy or glamourous from the inside. And the change in gender would probably be somewhat overwhelming for you...
Besides, you are you. We (and this isn't the royal we) love you as you are.
the gender change would be interesting for a very short time, though probably overwhelming... esp since it would be you...
ANyway i was more thinking about mind-set...
btw I am planning on comming seeing you soon-ish...
anzac weekend isn't good, unless its the sunday
my mum is coming down one weekend but I am not sure which one atm - probably the 3rd/4th.
I am working the 7th I think, have to check that...
but otherwise sounds pretty good.
The mindset... its not all buttons and charts little albatross.
I am a biologist you know? I manage both emotional and objective. Sometimes I am both at the same time. It can make me very frustrating to argue with, or just in general.
Ok, reading back, I should say this first. Which specific mindset are you talking about?
I am tired, the following might be gibberish...
I don't know; it appears to me that other people think differently to me, because I know how I think, and I see how others behave. However I actually remember how I behaved, and I remember that it wasn't because of how I felt, but because of how I thought I would be treated. I said things that were literally the opposite of what I felt because I was afraid of other people's perceptions. So much for not caring what other people think. Though in reality it was only one persons perception I was worried about, and I didn't think about the repercusions further than that. That wasn't my brightest moment, and it was only the once.
But you know. Its in the past, and doesn't make sense to anyone else anyway. I still think, despite all that, that I don't think the same way as other people.
>>Its in the past, and doesn't make sense to anyone else anyway.<<
That mindset...
As for a visit, i will txt you closer to an organised time...
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