Missing

A thing happened (which is unimportant), and I got to thinking as I do.
Sometimes, people in my life go away, for whatever reason... They fall in love, they are searching for the undefinable thing that will make their life "thingish", they dream an impossible dream and it leads them to tilt at windmills far away, whatever...

And it often surprises me how I feel about it.

I have a friend who is far away, who I hadn't seen for a long time before he went but it hurts and I miss him every day. And yet another friend who was an active part of my life who I now haven't spoken to for a long time cause he has other stuff that is more important to him and I expected to be really hurt and miss him heaps but I don't.

I couldn't have anticipated these reactions.

Is it because my distant friend is closer to me, or has been a friend longer? or because I suspect that he is unhappy? or is it that I anticipated my other friend leaving my life? or that I am happier now? Maybe I miss my distant friend so much I don't have room for more?

I guess it isn't important. But I like where my headspace is right now. I have the right people in my life, and the right amount of activity and challenge (I do wish my distant friend would come home though, it would be icing for an already superior cake).
... I have started to write again ... though we will see if anything readable comes of it ...