influence

I remember when a friend of mine told me about a girl he liked, until he realised that the things he liked about her were thoughts and opinions and styles that she had adopted from someone else, that she didn't have anything that was her.

I remember thinking at the time (with my awesome psychological background) that we are all just social constructs, that we are all influenced by other people, that most of our opinions and likes and dislikes are introduced to us by our society, our friends and family. I remember thinking of music as an example of this, I like blues and jazz and rock and roll, and 60's pop music and early rock/metal because my parents liked them. I brought Nirvana's Nevermind not on the cover art, but because My-Almost-Big-Brother (who I totally idolised) owned it and said it was good, and I wonder if I could have had the capacity to dislike it given how much I cared about his opinion.

But I am now starting to see something more to what my friend said.
Yes we are social constructs. Yes we are influenced by the people in our lives toward the songs we listen to, and movies we watch, books we read, and the ideas we interact with. And it has to be that way, because there is so much content in the world and some of it is terrible and some of it is wonderful and we just don't have the lifespan to find everything on our own.
BUT
We don't have to like everything our friends like. We don't have to love the song because that dreamy so and so suggested it. While our knowledge can be influenced by what we are exposed to, in the end our tastes are up to us. Intolerant people who live in isolated places and hate other groups because they don't know better - that can be understood. But people who live in the advanced society of today with all the benefits of technology to broaden their horizons who still manage that intolerance of others... People like that exist, enough people to ban gay marriage in California no less. Of course, there are plenty of these mirror people who aren't about intolerance. They just go through life liking the songs that their friends like, reading the books that their teachers give them, liking what they think other people like, and disliking things that others dislike. And then changing their minds as soon as they realise that other people have. AND hating the people who have the oposite idealogy.

Example 1. There are a set of people obsessed with Twilight. There are a set of people who hate twilight. Cool, each to their own, I understand both sides of the arguement. But there are a set of people who love twilight only because their friends do. And there is a much larger set of people who hate twilight because their friends do, without reading or watching or knowing anything about it. Now, I don't really care what your twilight opinion is. I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But it does piss me off that some peoples opinions aren't even their own!

Example 2. People who start dating and suddenly change what music they listen to, books they read, games they play, movies they watch, topics they talk about, people they talk to, opinions about things are just as bad. Surely the relationship didn't begin based on the desire of each party to date themself? I understand that over time, with as people combine their lives, they do tend toward similar tastes because as we have discussed, we can't help but influence each other. But mirror people do so at the start of a relationship, less than a year in, they are a clone of their partner. And it strikes me as a bit sick.

Anyway, that is what bugs me today.