Fangers

I am going to get to the point, but circuitously.

Did you know that you can see stats on your blog, things like where and how often people from different countries read your blog? Firstly, not many people read my blog, which makes me happy. Secondly, 8 times people in the states have ended up here, and some Canadians too... That is just bizarre, how did those poor people end up here? They can't know me, so they must have tripped over me somehow... To those people, I am SO sorry. You can also find out how people found your blog. Apparently, google is to blame. :p

The reason I looked up my site stats is due to a fit of boredom because Hellgate: London crashed on me. Most of you wont have heard of Hellgate: London, it is several years old and brought me much entertainment (It wasn't perfect, but it was good) until the owning company declared bankruptcy and took down their online servers, thus prematurely ending the reign of my online Summoner. It does have a single player however, and as I got so busy killing demons that I never got around to completing the game I am now playing through the single player, as an Engineer, though I intend to give other builds a try too. I like the final content they put out, and I wish like hell I lived in Korea as the people who brought the Korean license continued the online content... they intend to release Hellgate: Resurrection internationally this year and I will buy it if I have the cash. Also, to Hellgate's credit, I don't think that Hellgate is the reason my computer crashed, it is just old and probably needs a format.

Speaking of pretties, I really want to buy these really pretty boots. BUT I am really worried that I wont wear them on accounts of their 4 inch heels, which will take me close to if not all the way to 6 foot tall. I find it strange enough being a taller than average girl, and I am not sure that I can handle a higher vantage point. BUT they are SO pretty!!!
There are other, much smaller issues with these boots. I would be purchasing them over the internet, which means I can not try them on first, something outside my comfort zone as I don't have small feet.
But perhaps more of an issue is that I love these boots, really love them, but they appeal to tastes that I tend to nurture in private. Without beating around the bush, I really like Gothic and Steampunk fashion, and would dress that way all the time if I had the finances and confidence to pull it off. What holds me back is mostly that like most subcultures Goth and Steampunk are cliquey, and I don't actually care to make new friends or tread on anyone's toes by "not doing it right" or alternately "being scary". Pretty much because I like the fashion, I like the music, but I am not sure that I am anywhere near that stereotype. Most of my clothing is black, or grey, but generally not "in your face" about it... I try to look like it is a co-incidence that some days I dress like a 1830's newspaper print.
And, if I had the balls to do it I would dye my hair black. But I am scared it wouldn't suit me, and I can't be damned dealing with the "oh but I liked the colour your hair was" blah blah blah etc.
I guess in short I don't really have the confidence to push that particular inclination into a visual statement about "who I am" when my identity doesn't match the perception most people would attach to the visual statement in the first place.

Which brings me as promised (if you guessed by the title, if not you are pleasantly or horrifically surprised) down the long and windy path to vampires. I will come out and admit I enjoy vampire fiction (generally). I loved Bram Stokers Dracula and I loved the movie too. I loved Interview with the Vampire movie and I loved the book though I have only read the first two Anne Rice novels so I can't claim to be a raving Anne Rice fan yet. I admit I was coerced to read the Twilight saga, and that whilst I wouldn't give it any litery awards I found it to be entertaining and a page turner; I watched the first movie and it was terrible but I still saw it more than once, and I didn't hate the next one (though I have to admit that part of the reason for that will be dealt with in a later paragraph). I haven't read the Sookie Stackhouse novels but I loved True Blood, I haven't read Vampire Diaries but I do find the show very engaging. I have read and enjoyed Christopher Pike's Last Vampire series. I read a very entertaining "semi fictional" account of Lord Byron's life from the perspective that he became a vampire. I love the Blade movies. I liked the Underworld movies. I enjoy Prachetts vampires too. I enjoyed Van Helsing, except for the end which was rediculous, and I liked Buffy (though Buffy herself annoyed me) and Angel. The Lost Boys was my favourite movie for a time, I was very entertained the night my dad prompted me to stay up and watch From Dawn til Dusk and even though I avoid horror movies generally because I get nightmares really easily I still sometimes treat myself to vampire horrors when I am feeling brave.
However, this should be taken with a grain of salt, my relationship with vampire fiction is not monogamous. My litery taste has included a healthy helping of Gothic (witches, ghosts, zombies, werewolves, old and evil gods etc) though as has been discussed before, I read almost everything. My coverage is high on vampire fiction, but that could be blamed on higher amounts of vampire fiction being available.

Unfortunately many people who perhaps previously ignored vampire literature had it forced upon their attention by the Twilight novels, and subsequently (aside from the sad cases where the person does not realise that vampire literature goes beyond twilight...) either reacted violently against all vampire literature, or embraced it all as though they had always loved it. It is important to note that the Twilight books debuted in 2005, and most of the other vampire works available were published prior to that year. Check out the wiki for some dates on the subject, the Vampire Diaries that are currently being televised began publishing back in 1991, Anne Rice finished her Vampire Cronicles before Stephanie Meyer began. This is important to me because although at the moment it appears that the world is in Vampire frenzy, the fiction it is based on has been around for between 5 and 20 years, and some of it is literally 100s of years old.
And so I get defensive, I guess, because people make an assumption now, that books, tv shows and movies I enjoy are "riding on the coat tails of Twilight". But perhaps that is actually an assumption of a person who is woefully uneducated in classic and modern literature... and for that matter, human nature?

I have also devoured vampire critical analysis and philosophy. I have read all the theories as to why vampires have a lasting appeal and what vampires symbolise and why societies appear to go through "vampire crazes" like the one in the 1700s and the one today. I can offer you the checklist for a parallel to consumerism. Should you prefer to wax long on the vampire as a expression of societies repressed sexuality I have informed opinions on the topic. If its the symbolism of vampire shapeshifting, vampires in "real life" or just a good vampire themed night out you are looking for, I can help. And if you want a new topic, how about representations of vampire teeth and how their form and functionality has changed over time and is used in various contexts, or why the "modern vampire" focus is on the fiend with a soul? (ahhhh Louis, I know why Lestat was so obsessed with you, Louis de Ponte du Lac will always be my first choice for vampire with a soul) It is just so interesting, because it really is a lasting mythology.
Personally, I think it helps that vampires are typically hot. Vampire movies these days are generally an excuse for attractive people to look even more attractive. Vampire traits (aside from the "beauty" that is often a given) put emphasis on attractiveness with high contrasting features (pale skin, dark or vivid eyes and hair, defined features) as well as strength, grace, agility, charisma and power (and the hypnotism, mind control, and other superpowers also illustrates the vampire as desirable). Adding to the vampire appeal is the lustful behaviour of both the vampires and their victims, the "neck biting" being only one example of a sexual behaviour exagerated (again, with vampiric superpowers, it allows both common fantasys such as flight, shapeshifting, even administering personal justice as well as permissiveness to many social taboos like enjoying sex, sex with strangers, adultery, rough sex, relenting to impulses etc). And our secure society also tends towards controlled fear (ie. a little thrill, an adrenaline rush) now that the evolutionary action of the adrenal glands is rarely employed. This combination of traits allows even the ugly or vicious looking vampires to hold appeal. It doesn't surprise me that when vampire literature "got going", vampirism quickly became mainstream in the "bodice ripper" genre. Nor that thousands flock to the modern vampire craze or accept the mock-vampire... because it isn't about the death in the sunlight and it doesn't matter whether the vampire is a cold-hearted killer or a tortured soul, that is not the essense of the appeal.

And this entire rant came about because I (finally) found a copy (rather a website containing the full text) of The Phantom of the Opera (which in case you don't know does not contain vampires...) which I have wanted to read for ages but couldn't get hold of because, lets face it, classic gothic literature often isn't in stock, and because I liked some boots. But I guess it cumulates in actually a confession of sorts... my inclination to all things gothic (except possibly the actual subculture) is something that I keep to myself, a secret that I hide for that age old reason - social acceptability. But I think maybe hiding things I like just for the purpose of being closer to the social cookie cutter actually causes me to doubt myself and the esteem of others, and I don't want to be the person who wanders through life convinced of her own lonelyness and social isolation any more. So... here is me, sharing.