the love and love and love.

I watched you fall in love.
I cheered for you with your triumphs.
I cried for you when it hurt you.
And I am sorry that it didn't work out how you would have liked. But I think that this will make you smile later. There may yet be a fairytale.

I watched you fall in love.
And I am sorry, but I had to laugh.
At the impossibility, at a choice that perhaps could not be less suited.
But I will be sorry if it doesn't work out for you... though I can not see it, I want you to be happy. Stranger things have happened.

I watched you fall in love.
And I screamed and I screamed and I screamed against it.
It's like watching you set yourself on fire, like watching you throw yourself off a cliff; smiling.
I am sorry, because if it works out I wont be happy for you, and if it doesn't, I don't think I will be there to pick up the pieces. It is too hard to watch you romance your demon.

Peace

I wish things were different. But they aren't. And I am actually more and more ok with that.
Whether I am resigned because I don't have a choice, or I have come to terms, or maybe I have just started to decide this is right? Who knows?

I know what I want, and what I need. And I am going to do my best to get those things, whilst making room for the people I love to be in my life.

You should do the same.

....................... And to be honest... I don't really understand?

"I am a big girl, just tell me"
- Inara Sera, Firefly.

Just

Just a friend
Just a girl
Just a little too much work
Just not quite what I'm looking for
Just not enough
Just about
Just too loud/quiet/friendly/weird
Just a little too reserved
Just lovely but...
Just can't
Just such a "nice" person
Just got distracted
Just forgot

Why do I keep hopeing that one day, there won't be a "just" in the sentence? I guess no one really wants to be described as "merely".
I am not going to be only me all my life.
I am going to be The Only Me.
One day I am going to be exceptional, and you are going to regret that you always thought of me in terms of just...